An Offensive Brownie


I watched with dread as he squished two brownies together and sculpted the wad into a turd. Then he waited. When a trucker pulled up close behind us, he tilted his head back, dangled the nutty log above his mouth, and took a bite. The trucker, who could see what my brother was doing from the back of the station wagon, honked his horn. John, my brother, was delighted. He opened his mouth wide, shoved the rest in, chewed, and swallowed. When he grinned, his teeth were covered with chocolate brownie leftovers. John pressed his face close to the back window of the station wagon so the trucker could get a real good look at his cruddy teeth. The trucker honked again.

“What the h___ is he honking at? Johnnnnnnnn! What is going on back there?” yelled my dad from the front seat. My sisters, who were sitting in the middle, turned to look. I didn’t say a word. I’m not sure if I was more afraid of my dad pulling over or John knuckle-punching me in my arm for telling on him. 

12 comments:

  1. What a great memory! I suspect most little boys have done such an act; however, your story brought the whole scene to life - I can see that station wagon headed down the highway clearly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have to add my dad chain smoking and refusing to turn on the AC in the middle of July. Remember those days: no seat belts driving 80 mph down the highway. Can't believed we survived.

      Delete
  2. What a vivid memory. Your brother must have been thrilled by the reaction of the truck driver.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was thrilled. We never even told my dad what happened until years later.

      Delete
  3. Brothers can be disgusting (I had three). I love your slices from your childhood. I love the way you showed each person's reaction to what was going on in the car.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Elsie, my brother was disgusting. I'm sure we could share lots of stories that include body fluids. :)

      Delete
  4. Oh, yes, this reminds me of a food I can't eat any more because of my brother. You put me right back there with your words. Thanks for the connections!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hilarious! There are times when I am so glad I didn't have brothers! What a great (if disgusting!) picture you painted. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. hahaha! Such a BOY thing to do! I especially loved the part about your dad's reaction. What a fun slice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, my dad's language was a bit saltier but you get the idea. :)

      Delete
  7. Just read your slice to my family. I tried to do your dad's voice as your wrote it. A good laugh.

    Written clearly and with feeling. Loved your dad's lines.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A great peak into your childhood. Those little experiences that shape us are always interesting.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading my post. Please leave a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...