Why does she have to go to Ann Arbor? My
daughter, Sam, kept saying how exhausted she was and how she needed to sleep
and study her lines and do laundry and a thousand other things before she
returned to college on Sunday. I don’t want Sam to drive to Ann Arbor with her
friends. It isn't that I don't think Sam is a responsible driver. In fact, she started
driving to Toledo Ballet several times a week when she was still in high
school. She also drove herself to voice lessons in Point Place. One summer, when she performed at the Croswell
Opera House, she drove back and forth to Adrian. Sam has driven lots of miles
in lots of different kinds of weather conditions. I worried before but now the
thought of her driving to the University of Michigan to visit friends for her last
weekend of spring break has me scared. Ever since the three Bowling Green State
University students were killed last Friday, I don’t want her driving anywhere.
On the first day of spring break, two carloads of female students were driving to
Detroit Metro Airport to catch a plane for vacation and a wrong way driver
slammed into one of the cars and killed three young women. Two other girls
remain in critical condition. I keep thinking about the unimaginable pain the
families must be experiencing. I keep thinking. Thinking and worrying.
Oh, I am so "there with you" on this one. All three of my children drive, and I worry about them all the time. Last year, my oldest drove out to L.A. from New York City with a friend - they had a wonderful time, while I worried myself endlessly. It's funny, I had hoped to raise adventurous, independent children - and that is exactly what they are as young adults...which leaves me "thinking and worrying," too!
ReplyDeleteCollege campuses can be...well we all know. You have to trust that she'll be fine. I'm sure that doesn't make you worry any less. Mothers are born to worry.
ReplyDeleteThe worrying never stops. My young men are now 30 somethings living far away and I still worry. Unexpected phone calls leave me frozen...any break in our patterned communication sets worry in motion. We have to let them go but the emotions you are feeling are real and just...we all have seen too many parents have to grieve the loss of their children. I think it is the biggest fear for all parents.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out for the families of the girls. There's nothing to wipe the worries away. May be just trust and hope that everything will be ok lessens the feeling.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids but I do understand the worry. Try to distract yourself when you can. Good you can write this slice and get our positive energy :)
ReplyDeleteOh, this has got to be the most stressful thing about being a mother! Worrying and having to trust that your kids will be OK when you're not there....I can't imagine what that must feel like! I'm saddened by the Bowling Green students' accident, but just trust that Sam will be safe and that everything will be OK. She's proven that she's a safe driver, and I pray that everything will be OK.
ReplyDeleteYour writing leaves me almost speechless. You have described so well the paralyzing fear of worrying about our children. When we have friends who have lost children we feel broken for them and at the same time guilty for being glad it isn't our own loss. I just can't imagine. I do think our worry, mixed with lots of prayer, keeps us all going. And you know young people never think about this so I guess that's why we do. Thank you for sharing so honestly.
ReplyDeleteYou have depicted your worrying so well it gives me a lump in my throat. Between the BGSU accident and the Chardon school shooting, tragedy has been on everyone's lips in Ohio lately. So horrible.
ReplyDeleteI so know how you feel,my daughter starts college next fall. It is 45 minutes away down a highway that is notorious for fatal car crashes. It is so scary. But we just have to have faith that all will be well.
ReplyDeleteTammy
I'm right there with you! I, too, have a 20 year old daughter and one thing I know for sure. When she started driving my prayer-life improved drastically!! I don't think that dreadful worry ever completely leaves us mothers. Was it the writer, Ann Tyler, who said that when we have kids it is like little pieces of our hearts walking around outside our bodies?!? I feel that completely. At the very least, you know today that you are surrounded by the sisterhood of mothers.
ReplyDeleteYour story brought back old memories for me. Those worries never really end. My sons are 35 and 33, and I constantly worry about their safety, especially when they travel alone as they often do. You beautifully expressed what all mothers feel.
ReplyDeleteCan so identify! My sons are 16 and 18 and I don't think I ever have five minutes where I am not worrying about something…
ReplyDeleteFeeling your pain.
ReplyDeleteBig kids, bigger worries...I have three older sons (23, 21, 16); I can so relate to these fears and worries. I know well the increased anxiety when some sad, devastating news occurs...the unimaginable becomes imaginable.
ReplyDeleteHow awful for those families, and how scary for you as a parent.
ReplyDelete